i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
