I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
