mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
