I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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