Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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