Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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