I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
