PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
