your room smells of hookers.
And success
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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