i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
