why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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