I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
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Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
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What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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