No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
