YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Randomize
