you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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