Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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