omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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