Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
