Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
