I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
