you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
