Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Dignity is for republicans.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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