A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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