OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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