The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
