Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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