He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize