Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
