Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
