yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
soo... how was my night?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
