Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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