My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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