He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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