I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
