all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
