What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
