Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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