I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
