I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
and you fell through a lawn chair
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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