i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
