i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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