idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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