just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
