i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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