elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
