If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
