well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
