my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
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I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
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In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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