dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Randomize