Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
