i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize