like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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