Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
