Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i may or may not be watching the land before time
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I pour the whiskey from now on
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
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