i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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