fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
