babies were throwing up all over the place
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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