It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
