Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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