so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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