with your own penis?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
soo... how was my night?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
