Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
